Author – Abigail East – Abi has over two decades of experience in HR, change management and communications and personal experience of caring for a loved one with a mental illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.UNDERSTAND<\/strong> It can be reassuring to read and research the topic of mental ill-health to help you understand how a loved one was feeling. It helps you realise that all of what you are witnessing is totally normal for someone with this illness, and be able to understand the things that make a difference and what to expect as they started to make progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. DON\u2019T TAKE IT PERSONALLY<\/strong> Often it\u2019s the ones closest to the sufferer who find themselves having to deal with distance, criticism, irrational behaviours and it can be incredibly tough \u2013 both physically and emotionally – to deal with when you are doing all you can to support them. Researching the illness helps you understand that this is really typical, it isn\u2019t about you, it was the illness talking. That makes it easier to deal with and keep going through the darkest of times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. GET INVOLVED<\/strong> If appropriate, attend medical appointments so you understand first hand what\u2019s been said to avoid confusion and can help by reminding the patient what\u2019s been said, helping them to anticipate and understand side effects of medication, good days and bad etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. RECOGNISE AND REDUCE TRIGGERS<\/strong> Certain times of day or having to deal with certain situations (children, mealtimes, managing medication, calls with medics) can cause heightened stress or anxiety and make things trickier. Try to spot the patterns so you can anticipate the patient\u2019s response. Try to avoid or reduce the stress where you can by changing the situation and helping them navigate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. DISTRACT<\/strong> If your loved one is prone to ruminate and go over the same issues repeatedly, instead of wasting your energy trying to reason with them or present an alternative point of view, say something like \u201cI am sorry you feel that way, it must be upsetting for you, but I don\u2019t see it that way\u201d. Then distract them by suggesting they do something different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. TALK<\/strong> As the sounding board for the sufferer it\u2019s important that you have your own outlet too. Talk to friends and family and consider seeing a qualified therapist who can help you deal with your stress levels and feelings. Carer groups can provide support as well. People need to know what\u2019s going on so that they can help you and your loved one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF<\/strong> Being a carer for a loved one is exhausting and often incessant, especially if you have dependents, work and other responsibilities to juggle. It\u2019s really important that you look after yourself. Make sure you build in time to relax, (take a bath, read a magazine, do some mindfulness, grab an early night); to exercise and to eat well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8. BE SELFISH<\/strong> Your time will not be your own, and your energy will be reduced so use both of these wisely. Only do the things you want to do (on top of your carer role). Consider who and what makes you feel good \u2013 and someone or something doesn\u2019t, don\u2019t do it. You have to stay well and sometimes that will mean being a little selfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n