Positive energy if understood and channeled, can be of enormous value to the person who possesses it. I was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer just over 6 years ago and told I had less than a year to live. Alongside state of the art treatment, a revision to my lifestyle and my approach to my diet and exercise. I have put the vast majority of my energy into my mindset and my approach to life.
Very early into my diagnosis, I came across a quote which still resonates so strongly with me today. A quote from a Greek philosopher, Epictetus, which states, ‘It’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you react, that defines you’. I could have easily thrown the towel in when I was told I had 35 tumours to contend with and felt sorry for myself and played the victim, after all facing your own mortality at 35 was not how I saw my life playing out. BUT, by removing negative energy at work and at home and some toxic relationships and embracing everything that was good about my life, I have managed to not just survive my initial prognosis and live way beyond it, but I have also discovered a happier and more enjoyable life as a result.
There have been 4 key elements to nurturing my positive outlook.
Firstly I have utilised support. That has come from 3 main areas, my family, my friendships and work. But what does support offer? By sharing who we are, what we feel and what we need, we create support to move through these challenges. That relies on people around you, including your work colleagues. By creating socially safe spaces for people to talk and share in the workplace, you create layers of resilience. It’s that support that guides you, encourages you, allows you to make better life choices and as a result feel secure and safe within the workplace environment. Something that I believe is paramount to managing each of the respective anxieties we face every single day.
Secondly, I worked toward truly understanding myself, that starts with understanding what defines me. So what defines you? That directs so many life choices and helps reduce so much procrastination and anxiety in your direction or approach to the situations and challenges life throws at you. Relationships define me and guide me, so anything that allows me to expand, create or build upon existing relationships result in me saying yes to. It makes life easy and allows me to maximise the thing I love!!
Thirdly, perspective, this has been an incredibly useful tool for me through my challenge, I have endured nearly 150 rounds of chemo, 30 plus operations, two sessions of radiotherapy and have had cancer in numerous areas around my body. All of which sounds gruelling, intense and at times relentless. How do you keep going? Perspective. To highlight this, when asked how do I keep going, keep smiling, the answer is simple. I have two options, would I rather still be here living my life or would I rather be dead. The answer unsurprisingly is the former and acknowledging that every single day, moves me past emotions like anger and resentment and allows me and my body to focus using that to create positive energy on fighting the big C. That’s the value of perspective for me.
Finally I believe in the importance of living with and creating purpose, I don’t have the same ambition or drive that existed prior to cancer, my purpose is now based on what defines me, relationships. I setup my business Positive Vibes Only, to build on how I now identify myself and by supporting, mentoring and helping people through their own challenges, I create further opportunity develop and grow existing relationships and build new ones, that excites me, that gives me purpose and I’ve never felt more positive about my career and life as a result.
Mark Edmondson